New Site!

The Jan 31st update is below, but I wanted to let you all know about my new site!

http://www.inkeq.com

Go check it out! 

Rain Blues

During this kind of rain I always remember riding in pony school.  At the facility they had a nice indoor arena with good footing.  Some of my greatest riding memories took place in there.  I enjoyed going to my lesson during rainy days because we would ride in there and because it got darker earlier we would be riding during the night time.  I miss having an indoor to ride in.  Often times I think when I do have money I would love to board there just to enjoy the nice arenas again.  But because I was never a boarder I really don’t know how that enviorment is.  I sure did love that place and I don’t regret learning to ride there.  I was care-free and happy. 

The rain has came late this season, but it isn’t being gentle on us.  I just got back from going to the store to pick out some Valentine’s day cards and then I met Matt for lunch.  The roads are filled with water and when a car drives by you get a heavy misty splash on your windshield.  The sky is dark and gloomy and it’s cold.  For almost all the rain storms we’ve had, there has been snow on the hills surrounding us.  Which isn’t common around here. 

I wish I had a nice cozy indoor arena to ride in during the rain.

Equine Inclined

It’s raining right now.  I don’t think that I will be riding, but I do wish.  Yesterday it was sunny and nice, a little chilly but nice.  I went out and rode both the horses and watched T** teach a lesson.  The person he was teaching was a young girl who’s parents bought her a horse from T**.  I talked a little bit with the mom, on Ink, while he stood impatiently in the arena.  The whole day, since Matt walked Ink up from out back, he was acting like an impatient handful.  Weird, could be the cold weather?  Matt said he was trying to trot out of the back in the back and reared up while walking to the barn.  Matt told me that Ink spooked and reacted with a rear.  But usually, if something rarely spooks the big guy, he will just do that sudden stillness that horses do.  Then if it’s sooo scary he can’t contain himself he will shift his weight and snort. 

I had Matt lunge Ink for me while I got Errika ready and surprisingly he only bucked once.  On Sunday I was lunging Ink and he bucked at least once around the whole time.  Normally he’s not like this, although we know more than well that he is a bucker and a good one at that.  Usually though he does it during morning feeding time as KT has told us.  She says he bucks higher than the fence.  Back to yesterday..  I rode Errika, got done and then Matt held Ink while I tacked him up.  He was chomping on the bit, and spooking at the horses on the hot-walker near by.  Maybe it was all the action going on?  There was three horses in the arena, two wild ones on the hot-walker and more action than usual going on.  I mounted and did the usual warm-up stuff.  Walking around, then circling.  But he was everywhere.  Mentally he was a worm and couldn’t contain himself.  Because I am familiar with ADHD in kids, specifically in Matt, I could easily see ADHD coming out in the beast.  I called him a sack of marbles.  Although he wasn’t bucking and taking off wildly around the arena, he was tense, excited and mentally incapable of focusing yesterday.  His mind shifted abruptly from one thing to the next.  Not to mention he was very mouthy.  Not agressive, just wanting to nibble on eveeerything.  When I was holding him while Matt put Errika away, he would not stop grabbing the lead rope and holding it in his mouth.  One of his silly games.  But as soon as he tried to nibble on Matt’s arm he got in trouble.  Then when I was sitting on Ink talking to the mom of the little girl, he was grabbing the reins and trying to chew on them, between watching the horse run back and fourth to each of the arena (they we’re working on stops.) 

I’m trying to figure out where Ink got this energy from!  Is it energy or something else that is firing him up?  He’s never that impatient.  The only two main factors I could think of was the new beet pulp he’s getting that is topped with molasses and the activity going on.  I tried to see how much molasses was in the beet pulp but it doesn’t say.  Supposidly it’s just lightly topped and this is a more digestable form.  I like this kind of beet pulp better for that reason, but if it causes too much energy I’m going to have to go back to the other stuff.  But I do like the more easily digestable factor. 

Anyways things have been OK.  Sunday was a bad day.  I actually had a dream on Saturday night and almost the exact thing happend the next day.  But regardless the premonition or whatever it was couldn’t really help, just give me a heads up.  I knew it would happen eventually because this person doesn’t and didn’t know how to mind his own business.  Simple as that.  Well it’s done and over with and I’d like to leave it at that. 

I hope everyone had a great weekend and hope all the horses in your lives are doing well!

Feeling Better

Thankfully.  Thank You “Halt Near X” and “Rising Rainbow” for giving some advice on the last post!  You both are awesome =]. 

“I can certainly understand not wanting a career in horses. Most of them include working for other people. Most I know who do that say the horses are not the hard part, the people connected to them are.” 

Isn’t that true?  Mikael from Rising Rainbow left the above.  I love horses so much, but to make a career out of it isn’t my idea of, well enjoyment.  I know it sounds weird, but horses should be relaxing and something to enjoy.  The best stress relievers!  But unfortunately it’s true, horse people can be less than pleasing to work with. 

I’ve been thinking about becoming a Police Officer!  They are currently hiring around here and it’s been something I’ve been considering.  I know now that I have the support behind me, by Matt and my family, that I need to explore and find something I truly enjoy to pursue as a career.  I feel better knowing that I’m not viewed as the failure I felt like. 

It’s my younger brother’s birthday today.  Early, early, like 3-4am were leaving for the snow.  Matt, my mom, dad, older brother, our practically brother Kevin (neighbor), Matt, our adopted brother (well not legally lol)  Ryan and I are all going.  My parents and I aren’t going to snow-board or ski, so were going to find something else to do in town.  

 Errika got her hooves trimmed today by Stanley!  He was amazed how great her hooves look, better than they were before the colic surgery.  He said her hoof wall is bigger.  After the trimming, I turned Errika out in the field with Ink for the day.  It was soo nice and warm outside. 

Content is not the Word

I really wish it was though.  I’m searching to be content, but I cannot seem to get a clear view of what to do.  Every-day the intensity grows for me to spread my wings.  Why settle for just “average?”  The feeling is getting so intense that I think it’s turning into one of those growing-up times in your life, a pivotal point.  I wish I had an example to share but I don’t.  It’s just during this time in your life, you really are doing a large amount of growing up and pretty quick at that.  I want to go to school, but for what?  I’m signed up for 4-5 classes this semester, 3 or 4 of which are equine related and one is mathematics, just because.  I feel so irresponsible for saying that - I don’t know my schedule yet, to drop them all or a few, or to give myself this semester and start up fresh in the summer?  It’s all so confusing.  Neither of my parents went to college, so I feel alone in my academic obligations.  I feel blind-folded right now.  In all this confusion I’ve been trying to relax with my horses, but even over there things aren’t great.  The horses are terrific and Ink is making a lot of progress and I love them both madly, but the people, oh the people, I don’t know what to say.  Why can’t I just find sanctuary with my horses, like it’s ment to be?  I feel as if I’m just at a stand-still, making absolutely no progress while the rest of the world is moving about.  I’m tired of this, I’m tired of sitting here doing nothing.  I just want a goal, a nice, larger goal, which can help shape my future.  But WHAT?  Granted this should be a very good point in my life.  I can decide my future, my path and this should be cherished, but I’m stressed out about this decision.  Utterly lost, confused and I feel like a failure when I haven’t even done anything yet. 

The “Dream” Discussion

Thank you Haley!!! 

In case any of TEI’s fellow readers didn’t get to the last post, consisting generally of my dream, please just take a moment to read the below post.  Basically I was riding a horse in a very informal race, a dark bay gelding with a tiny star. I won the race by the way lol.  At the end I asked the trainer/owner (not sure if the man owned him) when and if he was for sale OR done racing I would like to buy him.  The horses name; sweet stevie or something like “sweet ……”  I did a little researching and found a horse by the name of “Sweet Blessings” who is a dark bay, almost black (exactly like in my dream).  The horse apprently didn’t do well as a racer.  Which in my dream I suspected this horses career would soon be over, hence why I asked the trainer/owner to take or buy him as soon as he was up.  I remember he wasn’t very fast.  Comfortable to ride though.  We won against a chestnut gelding who we were racing down the last straigh-away against.  Later in the dream, I didn’t mention this in my post, my mom and I somehow were watching a video of the horse I rode and were commenting on how he looked running.  Kind of like a bunny.  I kept asking my mom how he looked while I was riding him in the race and she kept saying great. 

I want to personally thank Haley (fellow E-Equestrian.com Member) for replying to my last post and helping me out with this dream!!  Thank You =)

This is what struck me:

Words like talking: Conversation. Communication. Seeking for a way to express something.

….anything you’ve had trouble expressing your feelings about?

This made some sense to me.  Granted a lot of what you wrote Haley did, but this jumped out at me the most.  I’ve had trouble expressing a lot of things lately, to people directly.  I can write like crazy, but when it comes to actually speaking face-to-face I’m a little rusty.  I fumble I guess you would say and often times portray a different message than I want to when I do speak.  I don’t do that with everyone, just to those I don’t know super well.  Trust me I can talk my mom’s ear off and feel confident in what I am and have said.  And it’s always a pleasure to share things with her because she deeply understands me and looks at me with greater respect when I can express to her my feelings in the way I do when I talk to her.  Lately it’s been the inability to speak to hmm, three specific people.  One I will not name personally, but I’m not in direct control of the communication going on, which is not the best.  The second is my dad.  I don’t ever feel like he truly cares about my deep appreciation for things, most importantly my horses.  I have so much to share but feel like he doesn’t truly want to listen.  Like he gets bored of my yapping on about the horses.  The third I also will not mention but she’s new in my life and I haven’t yet developed my comfort around her.  Everytime I talk to her I feel like she’s getting the wrong impression.  My mind literally races after I talk to her, with all these thoughts about what I said, how I could have said it etc.  When I lye in bed I cannot fall asleep because all I think about it everything I said during the day regarding my horses or other important issues. 

In the Shark Tank!

Last night I went to my first NHL game!!  The Shark’s were playing the Canadian Canucks.  The score was 3 to 1, Sharks, it was great!  I had a lot of fun, although the seating was scary.  We sat up top and it’s like straight up and down.  Not a bad seat in the whole stadium though.  I had a massive headache while we were driving down there and this morning I woke up with it. 

I’m going to see Ink and Errika later today, let them out to stretch their legs.  Maybe ride the beast =).  You know what was weird, I had a dream last night about horse racing.  Very odd, I’ve never had one that consisted of horse racing before..  We were at this track and there was some riders that came for a play-day.  None of us had raced before.  We didn’t go into a starting gate, we just started at a line.  I remember the footing was this lighter color, like a light tan and there was grass in the middle, it was sunny out.  We all got assigned horses to race I was assigned this dark bay gelding with a very small star on his head.  When I went to warm him up around the track I grabbed the reins, and they were those white rubber kind.  And when he started galloping, not fast, I felt so relaxed and solid on him.  We ended up winning the race.  Half the pack got stuck on the last turn because a rider fell.  As we went down the last stretch I remember asking him to really go and feeling so happy.  After the race I asked my mom how he looked and she said he looked awesome.  A little bit after the race I went into his trainers part of the barn and wanted to ask him about buying the horse.  This is where it was got weirder, I remember the horse’s name, it was Sweet Steven.  The trainer was on the phone, in his little office, and when he was done talking I asked him when Sweet Steven is for sale or done racing I want to buy or take him.  The man said “Ok,” and asked for my name and number.  Then I woke up.  It was so weird.  I don’t know what it ment.  Maybe I’m destined to be an off-track mom?  Any ideas?

The Second

I have to admit, I haven’t been the best of the best when it comes to positive lately.  I don’t know if it’s been showing up in my blog or not, but I would think so.  I’m totally reconsidering a job with horses.  Not a job but a career.  I want to persue horses outside of a career.  As much as I love horses and riding, I just don’t want to be in the industry.  I’ve been depressed lately trying to figure out what to do in terms of a career, where to start and goals to make.  But I haven’t felt that itch about anything yet.  Plus I’ve made it quite clear to myself that I want a very well paying job, so I can afford to do whatever I want with horses, take care of my family and enjoy life.  It’s sad, but I feel money is the only advantage you can really have.  You can’t do much without it.  I figure if I make it first, then I won’t have to worry about it so I can go out and do other things.  Such as persue photography, horses, riding, travel, life in general. 

The Latest

What is the latest news?  The rain stopped today but it’s supposed to be around again tomorrow.  I’m pretty tired, so this update isn’t going to be too long. 

Errika has to move out of her stall by the end of the month to accomodate for the foaling this season.  She, Errika, is currently located in an inclosed shelter, in the foaling paddock/area.  So it needs to be sterilized and vacant for the due mare.  My dad says he’s going to put up a shelter for out back before we move her with Ink, but I’m not holding my breath. 

I don’t come baring pictures, because the large memory card has been filled with 800 something photos and numerous videos by myself =). 

Matt and I got hay and straw to clean out Errika’s stall and re-bed it.  I didn’t bring Ink out today, but probably tomorrow, to get him out of the rain. 

In Wind & Rain..

..would you travel, mud and flood to be with your horse?

If you haven’t heard yet us Californian’s are getting heavy rain and not to mention wind, 100MPH of it to be exact.  Flood warnings are scattered throughout the area.  Yesterday was the less of the two stormy days.  I walked out back to get Ink, luckily the rain stopped for a breather, so I wasn’t soaking when I got him up to the barn.  Since it wasn’t raining at the time I thought I’d take him in the round pen to play some.  The weather didn’t seem to phaze him, he was happy to go round.  There was a large puddle in the round pen and I thought that it might be fun to work him through the water, but he kept going to the very outside, next to the rail, and avoiding the puddle as much as he could.  I had another idea, I just thought I should ride him.  School him through the puddle.  By that time I was still over there alone and I grabbed my tack, carried it over mud to the round pen where Ink stood waiting.  I’m sure he was thinking “oh my gosh mom, please.”  I thought tacking him up might be a disaster, I was sure that something was going to fall into the mucky sand or in the water, but I got lucky and everything remained dry. 

Ten minutes into my ride, it started to rain.  Nothing heavy and if I wasn’t in my nice tack and some of my newer things, I would have stayed out there.  But we took refuge in the barn.  I un-tacked him, and by this time my mom was there, and we went off to do errands, so I put Ink’s blanket on and turned him out in the round pen. 

I ended up walking him back to his field, in rain, in the dark, going through puddles and mud, and Ink kept throwing water up at my face everytime we’d go through a puddle.  I was drentched by the time I got back to the barn, but it was worth it lol.